how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What fires shots? A gun

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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