How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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A man walks into a bar

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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