What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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