Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Obama lin Baden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops