A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops