why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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