How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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