A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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The american education system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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