When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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well use a tissue!

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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