It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=eOr5o3kd5fIcpM:&imgrefurl=http://imgfave.com/search/be%2520stupid&docid=_B1z3__jBeF0wM&imgurl=http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vrh3OhfK1r158a9o1_500.jpg&w=485&h=650&ei=Jo3HT-anK4To9ASrrp2KDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=104&vpy=105&dur=1249&hovh=260&hovw=194&tx=86&ty=138&sig=104463583013410208018&page=3&tbnh=162&tbnw=121&start=23&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:23,i:149

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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=3

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I like school Said no one ever.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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The american education system.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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