What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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