WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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