What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Get on the boat.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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