Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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=3

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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I like school Said no one ever.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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human centipede

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops