How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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