What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops