roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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bangers and mash?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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