Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops