The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops