A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops