Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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haha

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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