Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops