Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Your're racist.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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