What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops