Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops