Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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I C U P White stuff

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops