roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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