How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

What is not a car park? Clash of clans

A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

nolan is gay

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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