What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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