Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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