A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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24

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops