What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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