Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Fox News

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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Face...the other white meat!

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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have safe sex

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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