A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops