- Anti Joke

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

yolo your orange looks orange

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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