Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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A man did not like this site

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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