roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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