Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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