What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops