What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops