A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops