how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops