A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops