Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Why? Why not?

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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learn. advance!

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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hi

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops