What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

roy g biv

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

cory is gay

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

Women drivers...

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

25

why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

If you just read this, You're dead.

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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