Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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I asked her where you were.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops