What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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TOP KEK

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Justin Bieber

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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So a bar walks into a man...

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops