Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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