Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

Your mother is so fat.

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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