What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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