Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My name is me I like fired chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops