What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

What rhymes with milk...milf

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...