Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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p

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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