why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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