Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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