A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops