A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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