- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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