What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Your mums a potato

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops