What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops