Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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A: Do you like it B: No

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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alert('The Game')

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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