What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I was watching Fox news.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops