What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops